I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
