Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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