The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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