i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
