I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize