You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
