omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
