Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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