You really coming over, don't trick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
