Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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