Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
