she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
