No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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