we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
