i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
