I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize