God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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