How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
