Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
