i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize