I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
