i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i drank out of a bidet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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