i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
