i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
