This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
