would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
