he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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