The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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