He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
