matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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