all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
