So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
