A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
