ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
