Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
