is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
