I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
