The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
