Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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