I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
