i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Send help, water and tortillas.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
