There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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