his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize