SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
