is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
