I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize