how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
