You work out of a Hotel?
My balls are so social today.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He did a backflip because drugs
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