NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
