One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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