Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
