if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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