It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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