you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I understand Curling. That high.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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