I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
