i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
