...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
