NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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