I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
