Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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