what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize
